Say Anything.

[40 yr. old SWM]

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*BLAUUUUUUUUU*

[40 yr. old SWM]

Top sends his spaceships to America.

*URGGGGGHHHHH!*

[40 yr. old SWM]

Ever believe.

[40 yr. old SWM]

 Friday, June 22, 2007
   
Getting Out - Again.
Another beautiful day, & another excuse to go out & do something. This time, it was a timely visit to Queen Elizabeth Park. A place I hadn't been for about 7 YEARS.
In fact, I believe the last time I was there, was  with this Flipper chick I met off the internet, whom would later end up f***ing my best friend - slut.  Good thing I DIDN'T slip her the bone, god knows  WHAT kinds of STD'S shew carries.
   My first stop on this wonderful evening was to White Spot, as Oakridge, where I treated myself to dinner, & found myself texting the following notes into my cellphone, while waiting for my order to arrive:

   "What in the world am I doing at White Spot at Oakridge!? I have no idea. Or, for that matter, what was I doing in Nanaimo yesterday? It seems the nice weather as of these last few days has motivated me to get out, which is a GOOD thing. I may be living a bit beyond my means though, & I'm sure I'll end up paying for it, down the road - but for NOW, I'm gonna enjoy it. Yes, it IS a bit reckless, & I wonder if the Dope may be affecting my judgement.so. Ah...the Dope. It's great being able to pin all my behaviors on an external factor. No ownership of actions - it's GREAT!
   Speraking of the Dope, it's been now nearly 2 weeks at the reduced dosage, & there is no doubt now that I am less stable than I was. At least so far. Sure, I'm less tired, but at what price? I'm gonna give myself a few more weeks though, just to be able to say that I gave myself a solid month. By that time I should know for sure. If it turns out I can't maintain at this dose, well then I'll know I'm hooked for life, & the Psychiatric profession will have claimed another victim, but at least I'll know - one way, or another.
   One thing I've noticed is I'm more sensitive to my appetite & a good meal has the same effect on me as a hit of Dope. Not surprising for someone with an Addictive Personality. I sure hope I can come off of the stuff, & that these symptoms of late, are just a temporary adjustment thing, but I'm beginning to worry.
   I also don't like - how after every meal I look like I'm in the 3rd Trimester. I think the Doctor said I just need to tone up the stomach muscles to take carfe of that, but who wants to work up a sweat? I know, I know - lazy Fatass, but serial - I MUST do something about that attitude. I tend to think that, that, ALSO is a manifestation of Depression."

   You'd think my meal must have taken an awfully long time to get to me, in order to be able to write so much, but it's just that I've gotten that good at texting, I can write so much in such a relatively short space of time. Practice makes perfect.

[40 yr. old SWM]

 Sunday, June 22, 2008
   
Wellbutrin - Day 7
    Well I got off work this morning at 6 & got home around 6:30. This after upping my dose on this day, as prescribed by mein doctor, so this then was the 1st day at the FULL dosage off 300ml.
    Strangely enough, I woke up around noon, but despite sleeping on mein floor, I actually felt quite well rested. It would come in handy too, as not 20 minutes later did the Fire Alarm go off in mein building, so I quickly scrambled together mein clothes & headed out. Quite a way to get your hours turned around to be sure. So far today, I feel ok.  Definately not bad anyway & at this point, ANYTHING other than suicidal is welcome. The best thing though is I seem to have some energy today & if that continues, that would be a BIG help.

[40 yr. old SWM]

Negatively getting Mitchell

[40 yr. old SWM]

Even as a holiday it disgusts you

[plasticman]

that nurse looks familiar

[NSgirl]

glad I never got into the drug thing!

[40 yr. old SWM]

[40 yr. old SWM]

There's nothing like having your whole world turned upside down & inside out by some contractor knocking at your suite door, & suddenly being turfed from your own place for the next 8 hours while he paints your ceiling.
    So here now, I have no excuse for not taking Dad out for Lunch, to celebrate Father's Day, despite the fact that it occurred yesterday. Well, after fueling meinselbst with % Hr. Energy Drink, just to be able to get out of bed & out the door to let Mr. Contractor do his thing, I quickly caught the bus over town & stopped off @ the Mall to get a Coffee & Breakfast Sarnie, & soon after was at Dad's door. He was in good enough spirits thankfully, & soon after we were out the door & on our Way to White Spot. The actual time spent EATING was pleasant enough, it was as we were on our way out the door. I noticed he was walking a little awkward, & I said: "Are you ok?" to which he replied: "Not really...I have to go to the Bathroom."  Of course, a few seconds later he unloads. All I can say is: Thank GOD it happened OUTSIDE the Restaurant, & not inside.  Poor Dad was mortified, understandably & I did my best to console him. Like an Angel from Heaven, our Cab arrived & I made the ultimate sacrifice of my jacket by putting it down on the Car seat, so as not to ruin the Driver's cab. I opened mein window as wide as I could to help ventilate the smell, but I'm sure the Cabbie could smell it. Thankfully, we arrived home. Poor Dad. In order to get back to his room, we had to do the Walk of Shame right through the middle of the Cafeteria, & of course it was right at the start of Lunchtime for the residents, so the place was packed. You could have achieved the same effect on Dad's pride by just simply shining a Spotlight on him. But we were able to make it back to his room. God BLESS the Nursing Staff. No sooner did we get in to his room, than they took over. I don't know how they do it, but within minutes he was bathed & cleaned. And what was showing on the TV? The Cain Mutiny. A favorite movie that my father pointed me to as a child. What better way to close out the day than watching this movie together with my Dad. Talk about a bonding experience.
    So I kissed my Dad goodbye & wished him a Happy Father's day & assured him his accident didn't ruin the day. Poor guy. I can understand how it would be so mortifying but it didn't ruin the day. Just provided some interesting challenges.
    By the time I got home, the Contractor had long gone, leaving my place in immaculate, if not pungent condition. The smell of Primer is really something to behold. I had to throw my window open for the rest of the day, just to prevent asphyxiating meinselbst. Woo-Hoo! I get to go through it all AGAIN tomorrow!

[40 yr. old SWM]

Once again, a shot of 5 Hr. Energy Drink, a knock at my door @ 8:30 AM & once again, I'm turfed out onto the street. Fortunately though only till around noon.
   So, seeing as it's a beautiful day out, I wander down the street to the 7-11, pick up a Coffee & proceed to the Beach. Oh thank GOD that I live in this part of town that I can do such a thing. Once there, I enjoy a rare Life moment of Serenity. You know how life these days goes SO fast, we're all rush-rush here, multitasking that, trying to be more time/cost effective etc... It's moments like this where you remember what life's REALLY about. It's hard to put into words here...you just have to live it.
    So, once I figured I'd had my fill of the beach, I was getting a little Hungry, so it was on to breakfast @ Denny's, where I chowed down on a delicious Omelet, & effectively killed another hour or so in doing so.
    Next up, I stopped in @ the Computer Store, picked up a USB Multiport & the young Euro-Geek entertained me for nearly another hour, showing me his rig, & playing his music. There seems to be a new wave of German Geeks now. It's funny how every few years the cultures change.
    It was past 11:30 am now. Now I would finally be able to make my Bus Pass pay for itself, as the next hour, I spent riding the buses around the Downtown core till 1pm. Finally I could go home, although truthfully I have to say, I think this morning was very therapeutic for me & was actually quite enjoyable.
   So I open the door to mein suite & it's immaculate. I kinda got a bonus outta this, as mein carpet really needed vaccumming, & I guess as part of his clean up, the Contractor vaccuumed it for me. The rest of the day, of course I spent inside. I even took a nap between 4 & 8:30 pm.

[40 yr. old SWM]

The fact that the man on the Howdy Doody show never knew what time it was, & was always canvassing kids for the answer is still to this day very disturbing.
**URRRRRFFffffffff!*

[40 yr. old SWM]

na-na-na-na-na-na-Grups & Onleys...
na-na-na-na-na-na-Grups & Onleys...

[40 yr. old SWM]

If you're thinking Wild Horses, in any number could possibly drag me away from you, well, I hate to have to inform you, but I'm afraid that YOU sir, are sadly mistaken.

[40 yr. old SWM]

Here's my imitation of that keyboard part in that song:
*DEEEWE-DEEEWE*
What do you think?
 - yaaaaaaaayyyyy!

[40 yr. old SWM]

You bring challenges.
To a good team.

[40 yr. old SWM]

Life is demanding rhythm understanding...
byyyyyyyye...Billiiiieeeeeeee

[40 yr. old SWM]

Schlotemyer...
What does that mean?

[clubchic]

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! 

[40 yr. old SWM]

 Friday, June 26, 2009
   
Flu vs. Meds. The Epic Battle


So I was able to make it through work last night, as the world continued to try to come to grips with the sudden death of Michael Jackson.
   I'm all but sure that if it were not for the Medication propping me up, I would not have been able to come into work. In fact I KNOW it, because as one dose was wearing off around 11, I felt Feverish & heavy, but I shoveled another mouthful of goodness, & was able to continue on. My fever broke around 3 AM, so I'm through the worst of it. Now the pain-in-the-ass stage comes next as the Flu turns into a cold & moves into my chest. I'll be horking up Green Meanies for about a week or so now. Oh well. At least I'm on my days off now. Maybe getting some sleep I can battle this thing harder.

[40 yr. old SWM]

*nibble*
*nibble*nibble*nibble*
*nibble*nibble*nibble**nibble*nibble*nibble**nibble*nibble*nibble*
*nibble*nibble*nibble**nibble*nibble*nibble**nibble*nibble*nibble*

[40 yr. old SWM]

I am Utah.
Of the Clan Trilesta.

*GROUUUUFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!*

[40 yr. old SWM]

*GROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

[40 yr. old SWM]

*EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*